Braves, Bats and a Lil More.

"Well, I'll start off by saying this, do not blame that game on the defense." -Head Coach Jim Mora.

I'm sure Bobby Cox is uttering these very words to a downtrodden Atlanta Braves locker room.

In what has been one of the most inconsistent season's for the Bravos, the hitting of the Red and Whites has been God-awful. I could count the number of games they've scored more than five runs on one finger. For example, we lost Boston today 1-0. How many times can a team say they've held the Red Sox to one run? I mean, C'MON ALREADY!. Put a bat in my hand, I can try and hit a Wakefield knuckleball. There is just something about this team this year that infuriates me. Maybe it's called the Jekyl and Hyde Syndrome.

I shot the absolute worst round of golf this weekend as well at Mark Twain with a good buddy of mine, Greg "Lenny" Schiefen. Lenny played a good, round shooting a 91. I, on the other hand...a paltry 122. I usually average a 48-50 on nine, so this was welllll above my average. There's something quirky going on with my swing right now, as I seem to be pulling everything. Anyone out in the peanut gallery have any suggestions?

Now for my first annual criticism of the week, and it goes to tourists not listening or reading. I work at the Corning Museum of Glass, and tourists will ask to most ridiculous questions when the answer is either written right in front of them or has already been said or cannot be answered. For example, a dozen families have asked me, "What do we wanna do?" I DON'T KNOW!. What the hell do you wanna do? How am I going to know what you want to do? You obviously have a cluse what you want to do if you walked into the museum. Simply expecting me to know what you want to do is, just, bizarre. At least ask me something generic, like what is there to do, or is this place fun. But c'mon, when you ask me something you know I cannot answer is asking for a dumb response.

D-Mosc out.

Summer Flicks

I have a question for each and every single one of you. Out of three of the biggest summer movies being released this summer, Terminator Salvation, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which antagonist(s) is/are the most "badass?"

Terminator Salvation: The Machines. Although non-human, the machines are perhaps the deadliest human extinguishers in movie history. With no emotion (unless you're Arnold), the machines kill at will, and it takes a dumptruck to take one down (sometimes more than that). With a futuristic arsenal at their hands, and no Schwarzeneggar to worry about this time around, just how is Christian Bale going to deal with these weapons of mass destruction?

Transformers: The Decepticons. Led by Megatron and Starscream, these beings rival Optimus Prime's Autobots, and make Shia Laboeuf and beautiful girlfriend Megan Fox run for the exits. With a desire to simply dominate earth and destroy the humans, the Decepticons are a force to be reckoned with. Cannons, missiles, guns and a bad attitude when encroaching on these robots, and could even give John Connor and his machines a run for the money.

Harry Potter: Lord Voldemort. With Ralph Fiennes looking more evil with every film, Lord Voldemort is perhaps the most disturbing character to emerge from literature since Beloved. With the relentlessness of a Sauron, and skills of a Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort ranks among my favorites as one that you both love and hate to hate. With a troubled history, you feel bad for the dark wizard. But wanting to kill a boy and his parents, maybe not so much.

All I know, if there are three protagonists I don't want to encounter, it's these three foes.

Random Stuff

So, I get a bunch of calls yesterday from the Hammondsport/Bath area asking me for my free hot tub. Obviously, I don't have a hot tub for free, nor did I send an ad in for one to the Hammondsport Shopper. All of a sudden, my phone is blowing up with people wanting this mysterious hot tub. I've since stopped answering these nonsense phone calls, but it was fun for about the first ten calls, then it just got straight up annoying.

I also saw The Hangover this weekend. It's probably this first time in a while seeing a comedy movie on the big screen. I must say, it didn't disappoint. Funny lines, end credits and cinematography, this movie ranks up with the Superbad's and Wedding Crasher's of our generation. I can't say Mall Cop got the same rouse out of me. A mediocre Happy Madison production, with a silly plot line that just got old after a while. Sorry, Kev James.

NL's Best and Worst

NL East
Ups: As much as I hate to say it, being an Atlanta Braves fan, the ups in this division have to go to the Mets. Despite not scoring any runs for Santana, an injured Carlos Delgado, and a questionable back-end rotation and middle relief, the Metropolitans have managed to stay atop arguably the toughest division in the NL. I'm scared to think what this team will do when a "slumping" David Wright get's hot, if they land another starter, because I can't see them collapsing for a third straight year, as much as I'd like to see it.
Downs: Florida Marlins. Every analyst in baseball, as well as myself, was stunned at the Fish's hot start. However, now I feel like their true colors are coming out. Despire one of the best young rotations in the game, Florida has a rather flat bullpen and not a very strong core surrounding Uggla and Hanley. I think in a few years, this team will run away with a World Series, but as all clubs, they are experiencing some growing pains and, despite the good start, have completely fallen off the table.

NL Central
Ups: Milwaukee Brewers. As if the loss of Sabathia and an injured Ben Sheets weren't enough, the Brew-Crew have stayed atop the central, and are competing with, I feel, the favorites in the Cardinals. Prince Fielder and JJ Hardy can lay some lumber, and OF Corey Hart is one of the most underrated in the game. Moreso, 2B Rickie Weeks is on the shelf for a year, and if Milwaukee can keep on winning, I think it will be one of the best season successes in a while.
Downs: Chicago Cubs. Now, I thought this team would be where Milwaukee is, but with the loss of Aramis Ramirez for a while, this Cubs lineup doesn't look as formitable. Inconsistent pitching and hitting has led to a mediocre start for the Cubbies. Do I feel this team will get hot? Yes. But Derrek Lee needs to start hitting, Zambrano needs to stop throwing fits and Piniella needs to-well-keep being Sweet Lou.

NL West: LA Dodgers. What can you say? No Manny, and still comfortably atop the West. Granted, it's the probably the worst excuse for a division in the MLB, but with Andre Ethier and James Loney in the middle of your order and running away with a division is still impressive. SP Chad Billingsly has been a present surprise, and Joe Torre, of any manager, knows how to deal with a situation like Manny. Once Manny starts bein' Manny again and comes back, the Dodgers are my pick to win the NL penant and go to the series.
Downs: Colorado Rockies. One of the worst disappointments in a previous World Series contender, the Rockies seem lost. No starting pitching, an order seemingly made-up of Todd Helton alone, and a stadium I could hit a home-run in. The Rockies seem like one of those one-hit wonders of two years ago in which they got hot, ran under the radar, then got a huge dose of reality in the series in the form of the Boston Red Sox. They are a low in a division full of lows, and I see no going up for the Rocky Mountain boys.